One Sentence Drabbles
by Spirix
Summary: Something silly involving food, angst, breasts, kittens, zombies and naked colonels. Each chapter is it's own story. Various Pairings. Ch 50: Phase Five
1. Life Achievement

**Disclaimer: **I don't own FMA or even these socks... wait, I own the socks.

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**Life Achievement**

Ed looked at Al and Winry through the window and thought of all the things he accomplished in his life, like saving the world and rising in the ranks; but nothing made him feel more proud than to watch his little brother steal his first kiss.

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**A/N: **Welcome to my new drabble fic. Each story is one sentence. Pairing are various and I think I'm forgetting something. Oh yeah. Marylover? You reading this? HA!!

(It's a long story.)  
-rix

PS  
I had typos Marylover pointed out after posting it. Suddenly my point seems less awesome... ;-;


	2. Five Second Rule

**Disclaimer: **I don't own no FMA, but I'll write about it anyway! --cheers while disgusted with self-- GO TEAM!

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**Five Second Rule**

It took one disgusting, hair covered, dusty cookie to make Roy Mustang realize he was in love as he watched Edward woof it down after yelling out "Five Second Rule!"

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**A/N: **I'm so happy people are actually reading this that I made another and will keep going for... a while. I honestly expected, maybe two reviews, one being from Mary. Well anywho, I'm going to eat dinner and watch The O.C.

I'll write another one when I get back and that's it for today.

-rix


	3. Every Night

**Disclaimer: **I don't own FMA... and I'm too tired to make a joke of it.

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**Every Night**

Alfons wanted terribly to know what Edward looked out at every night, but that was a part of Edward's life he never shared.

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**A/N: **So I am trying to teach myself Japanese. When I tell people they laugh...a lot, but you know what? I got straight A's in french. Now that's not impressive as the fact that I skipped class, slept during class, talked back and was an all around pleasent student. I feel slightly guilty for the people who knew me in highschool... but ti was there fault for hanging around the trouble teen! -

Back to my practising. I hope I get this right and I don't know how to make that center dot so I'm just using a dash.

kore wa watashi no hanashi desu - watashi wa sakka desu - hanashi ga suki desu ka

Already, that's all my brain can handle for now. I've been working on speaking more so than writing due to the mass quatities of anime I watch. Hey, I can pronounce all that properly, yay! (I'll tell you what I wrote next chapter.)

-rix... the demon mouse queen of angst pimp... apperently.


	4. Popcorn Pockets

**Disclaimer: **I don't own FMA... and I'm too tired to make a joke of it.

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**Popcorn Pockets**

"I'm going to kill that shrimp," yelled Mustang as he plucked freshly popped popcorn out of all his pockets, then poised to snap for the second time.

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**A/N: **Another quickie ;)

So simplyEarthian thought it would be funny to make this a challenge fic and I think that would be fun. Rules are include the sentence in you fic somewhere and have it make sense. I'll put links to you wonderful fanfics of my fanfic :) in my profile as long as you source me for the sentence. Have fun!

-rix


	5. Bloodthirsty

**Disclaimer: **I don't own FMA... and I'm too tired to make a joke of it.

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**Bloodthirsty**

Edward spun around, breathing hard, looking around the bar to see if any of them had the strength to take another shot; the eight men remained broken on the floor and he wondered when he had become so bloodthirsty.

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**A/N: **I said I would tell you what my attempt at Japanese should say so here it is.

kore wa watashi no hanashi desu - watashi wa sakka desu - hanashi ga suki desu ka  
This is my story. I am a writer. Do you like stories?

Yeah... I'm very much a beginner. Those are literal translations because the sentence structure isn't the same.

-rix


	6. Phase One

**Disclaimer: **I don't own FMA... and I'm too tired to make a joke of it.

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**Phase One**

When Envy saw the group of kilt wearing girls, he couldn't help but start 'phase one' of his Mustang destroying plan; he changed into the colonel before running over and flipping all their skirts.

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**A/N: **It was funnier in my head...

-rix


	7. Drool String

**Disclaimer: **I don't own FMA and my parents don't know I'm gay. (Well 'bi' but that didn't rhyme.)

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**Drool String**

Fuery slowly licked the salt off his french fry, flicking the end with his tongue for fun; it was only then that he noticed the string of drool running from Havoc's mouth to the desk, puddling on their paper work and wondered what was wrong with Havoc.

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**A/N:**_Drool String! You make my heart sing!_

Lol... sorry.

-rix


	8. Stray Kitten

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Stray Kitten**

Al looked in awe at the stray kitten in his hands, the first cat he pet since getting his body back, but the feeling was fleeting as he saw a very angry mother cat extend her claws and he suddenly prayed for his armour back.

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**A/N:** Yeah... I don't think I like this one, but I'll post it anyways._  
_

-rix


	9. Phase Two

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Phase Two**

Hawkeye was on her way to the corner cafe, when she nearly slammied into a certain naked colonel who made eye contact, and then began to sprint away very quickly; Hawkeye watched his bare back, very certain that she didn't know that man or that she didn't want to admit she did.

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**A/N:** Can anyone guess who she saw? Man, that is one long sentence. I can actually hear my high school English teacher being very angry at the moment... honestly. --cries--_  
_

-rix


	10. Trisha's Boys

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Trisha's Boys**

Sometimes at night, while they dreamed, Trisha could see the men her boys would be and pitied any poor girl to cross their paths and catch BOTH their eyes.

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**A/N:** Updated Free Fall and felt like being sappy. :)_  
_

-rix the demon


	11. Alter ! Trisha's Boys

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Alter!Trisha's Boys**

Sometimes at night, while they dreamed, Trisha could see the men her boys would be and said to herself, "Hot damn! Those are some fucking gorgeous boys! I'm a genius."

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**A/N:** Sorry, lmao, I couldn't help myself._  
_

-rix the demon


	12. No Way!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**No Way!**

It was karaoke night, as Roy glared at his blond lover for screaming "No Way, Get Fucked, Fuck Off!" during the gaps in the chorus; Roy was never gonna sing that song again.

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**A/N:** So I wasn't going to post this today, but Silky pushed a new fic at me... I have to retaliate. This is all her fault._  
_

-rix the demon


	13. Cute Zombie

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Cute Zombie**

Elysia was confused at her mother's pale face, personally, she thought her father made a cute zombie.

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**A/N:** I fought this off as long as I could. Forgive me... please?_  
_

-rix the demon


	14. Cute Zombie 2

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Cute Zombie 2**

Elysia tried not to laugh during class when Daddy Zombie, hiding under her desk, covertly ate Jimmy's lunch-bag.

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**A/N:** Blame Dying Rose for this one._  
_

-rix the demon


	15. Phase Three

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Phase Three**

Hawkeye looked at her morning paper in horror, a man in a bunny suit was setting fire to tree in the park with alchemic mittens in the headline picture.

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**A/N:** HAPPY JESUS ZOMBIE DAY... and you know what that means. ZOMBIE TIME!_  
_

-rix the demon


	16. Cute Zombie 3

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Cute Zombie 3  
**

When Gracia saw Hawkeye storming up the driveway, she knew exactly where the chewed up dog collar in Elysia's room came from.

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**A/N:** HAPPY JESUS ZOMBIE DAY again! Oh and there will be a delay in updates after this due to major fixing having to be done. FFnet killed all my divider lines so I'm slowwly making my way through to fix them.

Thanks for being patient._  
_

-rix the demon


	17. Little Black Dress

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Little Black Dress  
**

Riza fixed her little black dress and checked her hair for the thousandth time wondering whether Roy would take her seriously without a gun.

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**A/N:** So hello there... It's been a while hasn't it. I'm still praying that the lines will magically reappear on my other fics but alas, I must do it myself.

-rix the demon


	18. Keeping Up Appearances

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Keeping Up Appearances**

Lust saw the infamous Flame Alchemist running through their hideout and decided today was the day; so she fixed her breasts, fluffed her hair, adjusted her dress then set out to find and kill the colonel.

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**A/N:** I just thought I would remind all of you that each chapter is its own story and not related to the others. Only chapters with the same title are connected, like the Phases and Zombie ones.

Side note, did anyone ever watch the show "Keeping Up Appearances" on TV? I loved it and it still comes on back home if I recall. --sighs and thinks about what it was like to watch quality television.--

-rix the demon


	19. Dangerous Confessions

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Dangerous Confessions **

Blinking a few times in shock, Winry clenched her fists around her wrenches in untamed rage; no-one confesses their love for her and then gets away with running off like that, not even Sheska!

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**A/N:** Based on something that happened to me today... That's all I'm sayig about that. --is still blinking-- Man that girl got away fast. I still can't figure out how she disappeared so quickly. Maybe she's a ninja!

-rix the demon


	20. Floor Cleaning

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Floor Cleaning  
**

Edward passed out on the now clean floor and let his toothbrush roll away in pure exhaustion knowing that never again would he call Al's armour fat, for it had brutal consequences.

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**A/N:** Something random because I can.

-rix the demon


	21. A Second Trisha's Boys

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**A Second Trisha's Boys  
**

When Winry gave Alphonse a flower, Trisha smiled at Edward's cute display of indignation and wondered which boy would end up with her as their wife.

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**A/N:** Wait for it, you know Alter!Trisha won't sit this one out.

-rix the demon


	22. A Second Alter ! Trisha's Boys

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**A Second Alter!Trisha's Boys  
**

When Winry gave Alphonse a flower, Trisha smirked at Edward's cute display of indignation and yelled, "Don't worry Ed, you'll get to tap that ass too soon enough!"

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**A/N:** --snickers--

-rix the demon


	23. Jenga

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Jenga  
**

Every library bookcase toppled over with a dramatic crash to reveal a very red alchemist in the centre, barely maintaining his balance on two stacked stools, the 'S' encyclopedia volumes (Parts A, B and C) and ALL the _thin_ copies of 'Mustang, Spark of the Century'.

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**A/N:** --snickers on her way to bed--

-rix the demon


	24. Phase Four

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Phase Four  
**

Envy cursed the empty spray paint can and hopped down from the ladder, blue uniform pant tails flaring; it looked like he needed to stop by the store before he could finish his 10ft tall Fuhrer likeness on the side of Central Headquarters, it was missing breasts, a pirate hat, and his signature: Roy MOOSEtang.

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**A/N:** Just a jolly something to jiggle out the joy. Yeah that was some really bad alliteration... --runs--

-rix the demon


	25. Oh So Shiny

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Oh So Shiny...  
**

Armstrong saw the moral of his men was down so he pulled out his secret weapon that had been passed down his family for generations: a tub of Vaseline with body glitter mixed in.

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**A/N: **Well chew on that while I reply to the some odd... --counts-- 53 reviews I have to reply to. They are all spread out to different fics so everyone pity me. --pouts--

After that I think I'll open up Flint and spread some peppermint about (the preferred food of fic!Moose).

-rix the demon

**SIDE NOTE  
**

If you thought this was risky and shocking, with and without the typo, you really need to read Occupation: Alphonse Elric because trust me, THIS is nothing in comparison.


	26. Cute Zombie 4

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Cute Zombie 4  
**

Gracia dropped the laundry basket and fainted when she saw a certain nude zombie in her bed, giving her the 'Come Hither' look.

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**A/N: **Okay, in case you missed the a/n before this chapter, I have something to say. Go read Occupation Alphonse Elric if you like how odd and funny this fic is. Occ Al's latest chapter, 'Photography Director' was inspired by the typo in 'Oh So Shiny'.

-rix the demon


	27. One More Step

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**One More Step  
**

"Mustang," Edward said softly into his side, warm breath caressing his skin, "you've done a lot to help me in trying to restore Al, but it's in times like these I really think this is just one more step before you completely own me..."

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**A/N: **I haven't done any angsty stuff in a while. It's ironic because I', in such a good mood. I have five fics now that have more than 100 reviews, four of those for FMA... Yay!

-rix the demon


	28. Phase Four 2

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Phase Four (2)  
**

Edward saw the large Fuhrer likeness and couldn't help himself; in the span of two seconds he was clapping his hands and adding a pirate hat, a miniskirt and changing the face to resemble Mustang.

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**A/N:** Teeheehee XD

-rix the demon


	29. Phase Four 3

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Phase Four (3)  
**

She saw the large graffiti of her superior and shook her head, without hesitation she took out her marker and added a parrot, "There, that is more accurate, like that man could do anything on his own."

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**A/N:** Hawkeye, Hawkeye, lala lala laaaa! I love Hawkeye. Everyone is all, 'Oh Roy's the best!' oh please. After too ride you'd be wishing you chose another amusement park. Hawkeye on the other hand is amazing. :P

-rix the demon


	30. Phase Four 4

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Phase Four (4)  
**

"Hey Breda, how does he look now," Havoc snickered pointed to the erect nipples he added to the colonel's melons.

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**A/N:** So a lot of you still think Mustang is the shit. Well I have news for you... are you ready? There is no Colonel Roy Mustang... :O (He's a general now :P)

-rix the demon


	31. Justified Selfishness

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Justified Selfishness  
**

Alphonse looked at his brother's grave, then at his armoured hands, hating himself for the selfish cry of, "What happens to me now?"

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**A/N:** I read Sevlow's fic 'Buried' today and got this. Anything by Sevlow is worth reading, just be prepared for the sorrow they capture so well.

I was looking for a fic called Buried Life but it left my favourites and I think it's been deleted from FFnet. If anyone knows what happened to that fic, could you tell me? I really liked it and was looking forward to reading it again. It's about Roy being Fuhrer and Ed being his legal partner and the strain its out on their relationship. Roy even has a daughter. Anyways, this fic inspired a great portion of Free Fall's plot involving Hawkeye and Wrath, so if you know if this person changed account or something, please say so.

-rix the demon


	32. Phase Four 5

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Phase Four (5)  
**

Armstrong walked away from the mural feeling good about himself, he had always told the colonel he would help the man work on his fitness...

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**A/N:** I still have a few more of these to go. Be fearful.

-rix the demon


	33. Phase Four 6

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Phase Four (6)  
**

The Fuhrer himself inspected the large colonel likeness and decided it was done all wrong, he coloured Mustang's 'melons' green and gave then artistic details, like yellow lines.

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**A/N:** Yay! Now I need to go write something substantial.

-rix the demon


	34. Phase Four 7

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Phase Four (7)  
**

Havoc snuck back to the mural that night with three tubes of florescent lipstick and after proper application, he gave those luscious lips a kiss for good measure because how often does one get to kiss a drag colonel?

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**A/N: **Havoc is my muse this week.

-rix the demon


	35. Phase Four 8

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Phase Four (8)  
**

Fuery saw Havoc return with a stub for lipstick, so he got his bulging makeup bag and left their dorm room, intending on finishing what his roommate started.

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**A/N: **So... My more pervert than I friend sent me a link of this girl on a webcam. After thirty seconds she passed out half naked, and didn't move for 20min. How do I know that? I got popcorn and sent the link to my other friends and we discussed if she was dead or not. Lesson here, don't be a cyber-whore because when your drugs kick in, not one of the hundreds of people watching you can help.

-rix the demon


	36. Phase Four 9

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Phase Four (9)  
**

When Envy saw what his simple doodle had become, he changed into a busty soldier and went to report the crime to 'her colonel'.

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**A/N: **Oh no, phase four is winding down. About time! I have phase five all ready, courtesy and a very strange conversation with Kikiko. My only hint? LIVE IN FEAR.

-rix the demon


	37. Cute Zombie 5

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Cute Zombie 5  
**

Maes groaned weekly and gave Gracia the most pitiful puppy eyes she could imagine when she vacuumed up his rotted, unattached toe.

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**A/N: **Ever wake up at 7am and wonder why? Me too.

-rix the demon


	38. Still Good

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Still Good  
**

Ed flossed his teeth on the train, licked the string clean then pocketed it commenting the floss was 'still good' and for the first time Al felt like the attractive brother, armour and all.

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**A/N: **Ew, isn't Ed hot. :D

-rix the demon


	39. Scenic Route

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Scenic Route**

Jean watched the train leave the station in horror and progressed to start banging his head on his steering wheel, ignoring the now late colonel in the back, he really shoun't have taken the scenic route..

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**A/N: **If you look at the time this was posted, you will notice that I am currently in an exam but guess what I'm not. My computer crashed and car wouldn't start so all in all, I made just in time to have the door locker in front of me (keeping me from the exam) AND my computer is dead, won't even turn on. Go Me!

-rix the demon


	40. A Third Trisha's Boy

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**A ****Thrid Trisha's Boy**

"When a man and a woman love eachother, they share a special bond," Trisha told her boys while handing them tastful weddding pictures of the Rockbells.

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**A/N:** I don't have much to say at the moment.

-rix the demon


	41. A Third Alter ! Trisha's Boys

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**A ****Third Alter!Trisha's Boy**

"When a man and a woman do the nasty, it looks like this," Trisha told her boys while holding a bitten carrot and a bagel.

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**A/N:** Go read Right Now :P (shameless plugging)

-rix the demon


	42. Sexaholics Anonymous

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Sexaholics Anonymous**

Roy knew it was true love at the first meeting when he saw that blond teen stand up and a address the group with, "My name is Ed and yeah, I'm a sexaholic like all of you but I'm fucking better at it!"

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**A/N:** I have a fic called 'Right Now' ... so when I said go read right now, I was being punny but no one got it. :'(

-rix the demon


	43. I Speak 'Latte'

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**I Speak "Latte"  
**

Ed stared in disbelief as Roy ordered their drinks in a different language, "I would like a venti, nonfat, no whip cinnamon latte with a shot of espresso and a tall, whole milk, with whip, caramel mocha with two shots of vanilla."

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**A/N:** Has anyone guessed where they are ordering drinks from? Oh and Ed's drink, the tall one, sounds really sweet, just the way he likes it.

-rix the demon


	44. I Speak 'Mocha'

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**I Speak "Mocha"  
**

Ed spat his drink out and gave Roy a dirty look while yelling, "I KNEW you were poisoning my drink with milk in that fucked up coffee language!"

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**A/N:** I got this idea while review replying. FFnet was being weird this past week and not letting me reply so sorry for the delay.

-rix the demon


	45. Jenga 2

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Jenga 2  
**

Al guiltily shoved cat into his armour before the outraged librarian managed to climb over the fallen bookshelves to chew him out for 'running'.

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**A/N:** I rewrote this a couple of times... I still don't like it but I thank Gnomie for helping me out. (That's silkendreammaid for you new people.)

-rix the demon


	46. Phase Four 10

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Phase Four (10)  
**

A single tear fell from Mustang's eye as he turned away from the mural with the new Second Lieutenant _Ivy _rubbling his shoulder comfortingly.

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**A/N:** Finally, Phase Four is complete. Beware of Phase Five. Kikiko is the one to blame for that one. She puts weird ideas in my head when we chat.

-rix the demon


	47. A Fourth Trisha's Boys

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

* * *

**A Fourth Trisha's Boys  
**

"Breathe Ed, just breathe," Trisha said to her panting, bruised son, "Winry is probably really sorry for letting that wrench slip out of her hand."

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**A/N:** JazzyCat gave me this idea with her review. Random but wait for the next one. ;)

-rix the demon


	48. A Fourth Alter ! Trisha's Boys

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**A Fourth Alter!Trisha's Boys  
**

"Breathe Ed, just breathe," Trisha said to her panting, bruised son, "I would have ran too knowing where that little slut's toy had been."

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**A/N:** This was funnier in my head... Oh well :)

-rix the demon


	49. Jenga 3

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Jenga 3  
**

Hawkeye cocked her gun and gave him a look that screamed, _'I don't care how susceptible to collapsing the library shelves are Sir; I refuse to let you investigate while there is real work to be done!'_

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**A/N:** He he he, not quite a jenga but still hilarious. 'Hawkeye' --sighs in dreamy manner--

-rix the demon


	50. Phase Five

**Disclaimer: **I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

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**Phase Five (Finale)  
**

When Roy saw someone who looked just like him leap into Armstrong's lap and start 'rounding bases' in the lunch room, he snapped.

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**A/N:** That's it. I'm going to make another one, I just wanted to cap this off before it got insanely huge. Look out for the next set of drabbles. Thank you for reading. :)

-rix the demon


End file.
